Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize