True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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