Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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