Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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