I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
