Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
