come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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