Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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