Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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