it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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