winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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