Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
