My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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