Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
