she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
