walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Found the puke drawer
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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