well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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