on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
