My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
