im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
