K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
no, he came in my armpit
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
