Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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