If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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