Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Randomize
