In the future we'll all be gay
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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