im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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