just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
