According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Everclear isn't food dammit
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize