Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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