You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
