Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
