Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
