if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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