dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
