the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
