Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
