I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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