What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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