I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
This is my life. Enjoy the view
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I currently don't understand fingers.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
