I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
