I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
