You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize