Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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