Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
So apparently I’m into choking now
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
