I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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