Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
