Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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