A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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