Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm like, not good at living.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
