community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
