why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
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