How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you guys were way drunker than both of me
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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