hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
