I'm gonna have a badass scar
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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