They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Randomize