I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
